How to tell if you are disempowering yourself by making excuses

Oh this is such a big one. And slightly uncomfortable. In the best way.

Because most of us don’t walk around thinking, “I’m disempowering myself today.”
We think we’re being realistic. Practical. Busy. Tired. Overwhelmed.

But sometimes? We’re just making very polished excuses.

Here’s how to tell if that might be happening – and how to gently take your power back.

1. The Hidden Cost of “It’s Fine”

Excuses rarely sound dramatic. They sound reasonable.

“I’ll start when things calm down.”
“Now’s not the right time.”
“I just don’t have the energy.”

In the moment, those sentences feel comforting. They let you off the hook.

But every time you say them, you quietly reinforce a belief:
I don’t control my progress. Circumstances do.

And that chips away at something important – your self-trust.

Self-trust is built every time you do what you said you would. It erodes every time you explain away why you didn’t.

2. When Everything Is Someone Else’s Fault

Yes – life throws curveballs. Kids get sick. Clients cancel. Tech breaks. The economy shifts.

But if your goals are permanently paused because of other people or outside circumstances, it’s worth asking:

Am I facing a real obstacle… or avoiding discomfort?

There’s a big difference between:

“This is hard.”
And “Because this is hard, I won’t try.”

Ownership doesn’t mean blaming yourself for everything.
It means asking, “Given this situation, what can I still control?”

That question alone is powerful.

3. Listen to Your Inner Script

Excuses have a very specific tone. They usually start with:

“I can’t because…”
“I’m just not the kind of person who…”
“It’s too late for me to…”
“Once X happens, then I’ll…”

Notice the pattern? Your future is always waiting on something.

Try flipping it. Instead of:

“I can’t launch because my website isn’t perfect.”

Ask:

“What’s the simplest version I could launch this week?”

That tiny shift moves you from stuck to resourceful.

4. You Talk About It… But Don’t Do It

This one stings a little.

If you’ve been saying for months:

“I want to write a book.”
“I’m going to start exercising.”
“I really need to grow my business.”

…but your calendar doesn’t reflect any action toward those things, there’s probably an excuse hiding somewhere.

Desire without action isn’t lack of discipline.
It’s usually fear dressed up as logic.

And fear is human. But it shouldn’t be in charge.

5. Real Obstacles vs. Convenient Stories

Some barriers are real:

Financial constraints.
Health challenges.
Family responsibilities.

But even then, the question becomes:
Is there a smaller version of this goal I can pursue?

For example:

Can’t afford a full course? Watch free tutorials for 20 minutes a day.
Too exhausted for a full workout? Walk for 10 minutes.
Don’t have time for a full business overhaul? Improve one page this week.

Excuses tend to be all-or-nothing.
Empowered thinking looks for “what’s possible right now.”

6. The Perfection Trap

Perfectionism is one of the most socially acceptable excuses around.

It sounds impressive:

“I’m just refining it.”
“I want it to be right.”
“I’m not ready yet.”

But sometimes “not ready” is just fear of being seen.

Messy action builds momentum.
Waiting for flawless keeps you safe – and stuck.

Progress almost always looks clumsy before it looks confident.

7. The Pattern Test

If you hear yourself repeating the same three excuses over and over, that’s a clue.

“I don’t have time.”
“I’m too tired.”
“I’m not confident enough.”

Those aren’t random statements. They’re patterns.

And once you see the pattern, you can interrupt it.

Awareness is empowerment.

8. Accountability Changes Everything

It’s much easier to believe your own excuses in isolation.

Tell someone else your goal – and suddenly you feel a little more honest.

An accountability partner doesn’t need to pressure you. They just need to ask:

“You said this mattered to you. What happened?”

Sometimes that gentle mirror is enough to wake you up.

9. Turn Excuses into Better Questions

Instead of:

“I can’t.”
“It’s impossible.”
“There’s no way.”

Try:

“What would make this 10% easier?”
“What’s the smallest next step?”
“Who could help me?”
“What am I afraid of here?”

Excuses close doors.
Questions open them.

Fast Action Steps (If You’re Ready to Be Brave)

1. Keep an Excuse Journal for 7 Days

Every time you catch yourself justifying why you’re not doing something, write it down.

At night, ask:

What was I protecting myself from?
What tiny action could I have taken instead?

You’ll start to see patterns fast.

2. Start Your Morning with Ownership

Before you check your phone, say:

“Today, I take responsibility for my actions.”

Then do one small thing you’ve been avoiding.
Send the email. Outline the post. Book the appointment.

Start with a win.

3. Replace Your Top Three Excuses with Micro-Actions

If you often say:

“I don’t have time.” → Schedule 15 minutes immediately.
“I’m too tired.” → Do five minutes anyway.
“I’m not ready.” → Share a draft version.

Action builds confidence. Not the other way around.

Here’s the truth no one loves hearing:

Excuses feel protective.
But they quietly convince you that you’re powerless.

And you’re not.

You are far more capable than the stories you sometimes tell yourself.

The question isn’t “Do I have excuses?”
We all do.

The question is:
Are my excuses running my life – or am I?